Age Rage

In Singapore, I’ve been doing a lot of ‘meeting new people’, and during the conversation, we always come across the question of How old are you?

And the funny thing is, I’m the female, and I’m the one getting asked this first, every single time. I thought that was supposed to be rude? But I’m not yet at an age to be sensitive, so I answer that I’m twenty one, without missing a beat, then I ask How old are you?

And then, this is the part I hate, they say:

How old do you think I am?

I do not like this question because, a) I am lazy. I told you my age, just tell me yours? If I had it my way, I wouldn’t even bother with it, I’m only asking back because that’s how conversations work. If you ask me how old I am, I can’t respond by saying “Did you know that some men go around conning tourists into believing they have scrap metal rights over the Eiffel Tower, so that the tourists actually think they can buy it?”. Age tells me absolutely nothing. So don’t make it into some guessing game, which is pointless because

b) I am bad at guessing ages. To me, there are three age groups. Babies, that do not belong in a bar, then People. Then there’s Old people.

Not to imply that Old people aren’t People. They were People once, too. Then they became the Old people. I digress. If you ask me the age question I am not going to rack my brain checking your face wrinkles and how deeply set your eyes are and how much hair you have and how you dress and analyse how you talk. I am not going to bother telling you the truth of what I really think your age is, that is your (secret) punishment.

If you look anything under forty, then I am always going to say twenty-five. Always. And usually, this brings about a satisfied nod, with a comment like “Twenty eight, actually.” or “Twenty four, actually.” Which means, you’re NOT EVEN THAT OLD IN THE FIRST PLACE. Why are you checking to see how old you look? If you are twenty eight, then chances are, you also LOOK like you’re twenty eight.

If you’re so self conscious about age then why not go give yourself an ego boost, visit the elderly folks’ home, go around asking all the great granddaddies and great grandmommies how old you look, see how much younger you are. Wow i am being bitter about something very weird.

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